tom are you seriously reciting romantic poetry from one of the most famous authors from the renaissance to your twitter followers right now i mean do you want to incite fangirl riots or what
Okay so we all know that Tom is eventually gonna take over the world by making everyone only sexually attracted to him. File this under things we know.
But then you wonder what is his ultimate goal?
You know, besides world domination and having literally everyone wanting to bone him until his pelvic bone is turned to dust. We know that already.
No, I think his real goal is to turn the world into a sort of Hiddles-based dystopian wasteland. He’ll live in a palace where the walls are lined in leather and all the chairs are big so he can splay his legs freely and allow his magic stick room to breathe. All while us plebes are living in run down little shanty towns that are covered with posters of Tom’s grinning face.
And once a year people will be chosen to fight to the death for a chance to kiss his leather boot on a tv show.
And it’ll be called The Hiddles Games.